Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
Search blog post categories here:
Stresslaxing
As humans we’re an interesting bunch - ok we can be down right bizarre! I came across this term stresslaxing and I was curious enough to find out what it was all about, so I spent some time diving down the rabbit hole of researching into it - this is one of the many things that I love about retirement - having the time and space to explore and research and just learn new things. My research brought me to this new phenomenon which has emerged where the actual act of relaxation itself induces stress. This rather paradoxical experience is known as stresslaxing and it’s a term that tries to capture the anxiety sparked in some people, who when they are stressed, attempt to relax, but find themselves incapable of doing so.
Coaching
I come from a long line of very proud, reserved, stiff upper lip never show your emotions or weakness people. I was taught that the way to work through things is to ignore, power through or just pretend it never happened. I don’t suspect that I am alone in being taught these coping skills - it seems to me that it was a prevalent approach during the time that I grew up, however I also recognize that cultural attitudes and approaches have been changing throughout my life - in a very positive way - thank goodness!
Being vulnerable is no longer seen as being weak - seeking help and support is a sure sign of strength and a desire to grow - talking about things is the best way to knock shame on the head
Everybody’s got a story
This song has always resonated with me because I feel that we (let’sy be honest - I) often make assumptions of people based upon first impressions.
I make judgements based upon the way people look or act or talk - I know it’s cliche, however the saying don’t judge a book by its cover still rings true today.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a strong introvertand people often interpret my demeanour as standoffish or cool, but it’s actually shyness mixed in with a preference of getting to know people slowly before diving in and interacting.
Being outside my routine
I have written quite a bit about the changes that I’ve made around healthier eating, strength training and wellness in an attempt to lead a more mindful life and improve my wellbeing. It has taken me a few years to identify the habits that I wanted to introduce and those that I wanted to part ways with - Atomic Habits (James Clear) is an excellent resource and I wrote about it here.
It took a lot of consistency and small changes to build up the good habits that I wanted to introduce, such as strength training, yoga, meditation and photography walks to name a few. Then last April everything changed when we bought a new home.
The shifts in what is important
This recent move to the “country” (see this blog post) really highlighted for me that I have made some significant shifts in what is important (as has Kory). We identified the values that are important to us when we started seriously searching for a new home. Nature, a less busy location, space and places to walk were the things that we identified as being important.
Our previous home was located within walking distance of downtown Calgary in a lovely neighbourhood that was close to coffee shops and grocery stores. There was a vibe of busy urban
Maintaining Balance
I recall that during my working life I was constantly searching for balance - I felt the pull from work and an even bigger pull from home to have my attention. I will admit that there were a lot of times when I didn’t get the balance right and I feel that my home life suffered as a result. In addition I think that my mental and physical wellbeing suffered - not just from the actual stress of the situation, but also the additional stress of feeling guilt and regret for not being present for my family.
All or nothing mentality
I think of peoples’ personalities or traits as being part of a spectrum and it is a fluid spectrum (i.e., I don’t think people act in one manner exclusively as we often identify ourselves), however I do believe that we have preferred approaches or manners. Back in this blog post (
irritability, cabin fever and a breakthrough
) I wrote about viewing the way we react to things like we’re floating down a river between the banks of rigidity and chaos. Going to either extreme puts us in an undesirable state where we’re either digging in our heels over every little thing or feeling totally overwhelmed.
Taking time to breathe and enjoy life
I cannot believe what a whirlwind the last 6 months have been - from travelling to Iceland for a photographic tour, buying and selling a house, packing up and moving to the country and then setting up a new house.
Add on two more trips - a photographic retreat in July and a kayaking trip in August and it equals overload!
Everything was planned a year in advance with the exception of the house move - what a crazy ride it’s been!
Wildlife and birds in Iceland
It has taken me a while to finally get through all of my Iceland images, but I didn’t want to rush through them and there have been a few distractions since then (moving blog). It’s hard to believe that I went to Iceland back in April and that almost 3 months have passed since I returned.
I have been posting blogs about different aspects of my trip (Iceland macros, Iceland trip review, Iceland abstractions) and I have finally decided to write about the wildlife and birds that I saw and photographed. This is my passion and I couldn’t resist spending time capturing the rich diversity of wildlife that I don’t usually see in Canada.
Time on the water.
I grew up in Windsor, Ontario which is close to the Great Lakes and filled with water bodies. I spent time in my youth canoeing (back country camping trips to Algonquin Park) and sailing (lasers up to 35’ sailboats on the lakes). It was a source of joy and peacefulness for me. I recall the sound of the wooden paddle dipping into the water repeatedly - there is nothing quite as calming as gliding through a mirror like lake in the early morning mist - that slight crisp chill in the air and muscles that are stretching and warming up under the exertion. I have a very visceral reaction to spending time on the water.
Kayaking Trip Prep
Over a year ago we planned and booked a kayaking trip based out of Prince Rupert, British Columbia (OceanLight Adventures) and it’s coming up quickly.
It feels a bit chaotic to be going away again with all of the house renos going on, but sometimes you have to go with the flow and just know that it will all work out fine - at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
The trip is based from a boat where we sleep and eat, but there are kayaks and a zodiac for daytime excursions and amazing photography opportunities with wildlife, birds and marine life abounds.
Consistency and habit forming.
I’ve talked a bit in earlier posts about how the brain loves predictability and in fact our brain rewards us with dopamine hits when we can correctly predict things. However predictability is not always the best thing for us as it can stifle creativity and growth. A bit of surprise occasionally can do wonders for sparking different centres in our brains. There is a lot to be said for balance - a good routine and consistency with some unpredictability thrown in to shake things up and keep us on our toes.
Contemplations
I have recently finished listening to an audible book called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby who experienced a life changing stroke and ended up with a condition called “locked in syndrome”. This means that he remained mentally astute, but had no verbal capabilities or movement save being able to blink his left eyelid and minor head movement. The book was dictated by Bauby over a two month period by blinking his left eye and using a special alphabet template to enable him to communicate.
Photography Retreat Trip prep
This feels like a very full year and although some of it was planned there has been some unexpected aspects (like moving house) and before these unplanned events I had several trips in the calendar including a photography retreat to New Brunswick.
I have been part of a really supportive online photography community A Year With My Camera which I highly recommend for new and experienced photographers. One of the many things that I appreciate about being part of this community is the fellow photographers I have gotten to know
Macros tracking in Iceland
I have been struggling to lose some weight for quite a while now - it seems like once I hit 60 that my metabolism decided it was going to do its own thing no matter what I did. I talked about it a bit in this blog post (The Stories We Tell Ourselves).
It’s been frustrating as exercise and cutting out certain things hasn’t made a bit of difference. I’ve also noticed that my energy level has been low and I haven’t seemed to be as keen to be active as I usually am.
First week in our new home
It feels like we’ve been moving forever as there’s been a month between getting possession of the new home and handing over the keys of our old home. As a result the move has been less stressful from a time pressure perspective, but much more drawn out and complex from a logistical perspective.
This is also the first time that I’ve moved without trying to juggle a full-time job - I highly recommend it!
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Well I’ve been contemplating this post for a while now (read that to mean that this is a sticky topic for me and I’ve been avoiding committing my thoughts to paper or to screen - so to speak). It is amazing the way our brains work and I’ve been spending a lot of time recently reading and trying to learn more about neurobiology and how we’re wired to think and react to situations we encounter.
Life is about to get chaotic
September first will mark two years since I retired and those who have been following this blog will know that it has not been a smooth or easy transition for me. I feel like I am finally finding my feet and relaxing into my new role, so what would possess us and in particular me to agree to move. A very good question! Life is definitely about to get very busy and chaotic as we pack up our current home and move to the new one.
Springtime in Calgary
We often get a a little teaser of spring and this year was no different. After a particularly cold February (we hit overnight windchills of -50C) I was thrilled to experience a week of mild temperatures that got up to +15C (that’s low 60’sF). I got outside a lot and even Roxy enjoyed some springtime walks.
This is a special treat as the winters can be long for her being cooped up inside or getting the occasional car ride - believe it or not she enjoys running errands with us and even going through the car wash.
Funks, Negative Thoughts and Some Ways Out
There is a seductive nature to negative thoughts and energy. As humans we are naturally drawn to remember negative stimuli whether that’s events, words or actions. This is called the negativity bias which is our tendency to not only register negative stimuli more readily, but also to dwell on these thoughts. It makes sense when you look at it from an evolutionary perspective when we were motivated by survival to be attuned to negative/dangerous/life threatening things.