Consistency and habit forming.
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Taking a moment for gratitude and celebration.
Before I get into this blog post topic fully I’d like to take a moment to pause and celebrate over 6 months of blogging consistently. I posted my first blog on January 8, 2024 and I was so nervous about hitting that publish button. I knew next to nothing about blogging and I had doubts about whether I had anything useful to write about let alone topics to keep this habit alive.
A sandhill crane getting excited about my 6 months of continuous blogging! They are sooooo supportive!
I’m happy to say that I am getting such joy and delight in writing this weekly blog - it has helped me to organize my thoughts and delve into topics that I have been struggling to articulate, find new ways to incorporate my photography into something meaningful (i.e, have my photos exist somewhere beyond my hard drive), and connect and engage with a number of people in new ways - I have really appreciated and been overwhelmed with the response to my posts, so thank you to all who have read and responded to my musings. Also thank you for the continued recommendations on books etc. - I promise that I keep a list of these and when my life gets a bit more normal I will be back to reading voraciously again.
Why is consistency so important?
A surprise image of a red breasted nuthatch upside-down. The unexpected can make us smile, laugh and spark all sorts of creative thoughts.
I’ve talked a bit in earlier posts about how the brain loves predictability and in fact our brain rewards us with dopamine hits when we can correctly predict things. However predictability is not always the best thing for us as it can stifle creativity and growth. A bit of surprise occasionally can do wonders for sparking different centres in our brains.
There is a lot to be said for balance - a good routine and consistency with some unpredictability thrown in to shake things up and keep us on our toes.
Umay eye mask for dry eyes.
I have been working hard on building positive habits since my retirement (i’ve done this pre-retirement as well, but since finishing work I have shifted my habits somewhat). For example I like to start my day with self care that includes using a U-May mask (this is a device that you place over your eyes and it cycles through cool and hot cycles to help with dry eyes - I highly recommend it if you have issues), a daily meditation and journaling. I’ve been doing this for the last 3 - 4 years and it’s a habit that fills my day with positivity which is a good thing in my books.
I’ve also started working out and including strength training into my routine. Interestingly, I met a physician during our Kenya safari and we started talking about longevity and habits that support living well. It was a very fascinating and engaging conversation and I mentioned the Somatic Therapy that I have been working on to release the tight muscles in my lower back - he was intrigued and shared a book (Built to Move - by Kelly and Juliet Starrett) that he also found very useful. It is about functional movement and how focusing on 10 foundational habits can enable you to move more freely and without pain or stiffness.
We spoke about the benefits of consistency over time versus going hard followed by long periods of inactivity - consistency always wins, so it’s better to start slow and steady rather than fast out of the gate only to stop before the habit is formed.
That’s why we add another exercise principle to the list of guidelines: Always Do Something - or, as Dave Spitz likes to spin it, Never Do Nothing. - Built to Move (Kelly and Juliet Starrett)
I like the idea of the cumulative effect of taking small steps in the right direction, however it flies in the face of my all or nothing mentality, so this is probably a principle I need to embrace.
Interestingly, since that conversation, I have encountered 4 other people who have read this book and utilize the concepts in their personal workouts. I love when I keep bumping into the same recommendations and I learn something new about the book, its author(s) or the reader. For me connection and consistency are like the double bonus of wins.
Forming positive habits
A healthy start to the day - high protein waffles topped with greek yogurt, chia seed jam and pumpkin seeds.
Another one of my favourite books is Atomic Habits (James Clear) which is such a practical and down to earth guide to forming positive habits and avoiding falling into negative habits.
A few of the key elements include getting in the mindset of the person who practices the habit you want to form - for example if you want to eat healthier then it’s a good thing to start thinking like a healthy eater - when faced with a food choice ask yourself - what would a healthy eater choose? Over time you will start to see yourself as a healthy eater.
Secondly find ways of building positive associations with the new habit - when starting a habit of journaling it is good to find a quiet spot that is comfortable and inspiring to write down your thoughts. Choosing a time of day where you won’t be interrupted helps as well.
This puts me in mind of when we started to train Roxy (our Bengal cat) to walk on a harness and leash. She is a very high energy cat and we wanted to make sure we enriched her life by getting her outside, however we had concerns about her safety (traffic, bobcats, coyotes and eagles for instance) and so allowing her to free roam (there is a city bylaw prohibiting this as well) was not an option. Instead we decided to try to harness and leash train her.
Roxy walking on leash with her tail in the air to indicate she’s happy and relaxed.
Now for anyone who has not tried this, cats are not like dogs when it comes to training - correcting a cat as you would a dog will lead to a willful stand off that you will not win - trust me! Cats work best with positive reinforcement rather than checking unwanted behaviours. Patience is also a requirement as is understanding that just because things went well today doesn’t mean that they will next time - there are days even now when Roxy refuses to walk - she’s just not in the mood. Other days she walks better than a well trained dog - confident with tail high in the air.
We found that consistency was a really important factor as was getting into a routine or establishing a pre-walk ritual. There were a few things that we did to establish this ritual such as bringing out her backpack, harness and leash to signal a pending walk, having her learn to sit and wait in a certain spot once her harness was on (this allowed us to get ready and secure the house), and from the very beginning we didn’t let her walk out the door - we always carried her to avoid door dashing (running out an open door to get outside at inopportune times). This worked really well because we had a contractor working in our home and he accidentally left the front door ajar - we walked by to see Roxy sitting patiently at the open front door waiting to be carried outside - whew! That habit worked well!
Roxy sitting patiently outside the front door.
So in a similar fashion consistency, positive reinforcement and thinking like a cat all worked to make walking on a leash with a cat possible - even fun!
There are so many benefits to this habit both for Roxy and for us, but I will admit to feelings of cringeworthy embarrassment when she got upset on one walk and yowled incessantly until we got back to the car - people we passed thought we were torturing this poor cat - and yes we have had the odd comment questioning why we would do this to a cat. We strongly believe that Roxy benefits from the outdoor time done in a safe manner.
In addition to the occasional embarrassment there is also the need to get over being seen as the creepy neighbour who hovers behind a shrub - which actually means your cat has decided to go on a sniffari around said shrub instead of walking. You soon get over these things and act like this is totally normal behaviour - plus you do get to know your neighbours much better.
Self care and routines that support core values
I practice a number of self care routines that I have mentioned before such as journaling, meditation and using an eye mask. All of these little habits add up to feeling good about myself and feeling valued and cared for which is not how I’ve always treated myself. My past history has been one of ignore what the body is saying it needs/wants and just power through. This goes ok until it doesn’t.
In addition to self care routines, I have a few other habits that I’ve cultivated since retirement such as going grocery shopping with my friend Seka (a nonagenarian - I’ve always wanted to use that word in a blog post). We have such fun shopping and I learn so much from listening to Seka (though I am still cringing every time I think of Brewers Yeast - shhhhh don’t tell her!). It’s a good way for us to connect and it also is a good way for her to get out shopping to different stores - a win/win.
Connection is a core value of mine.
Kory and I do PIES (Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual) check ins with his mum Anne. Again it’s a great way for us to connect with Anne and we all get to share how we’re doing which often leads to deeper conversations. Anne often expresses gratitude for her PIES buddies as she is able to share how she’s really doing without worrying about us trying to fix her or minimize her feelings.
These habits are a great way for me to honour my core value of connection which I’ve come to value even more since I’ve retired. I like to think that Seka and Anne are also benefiting from these habits - at least that’s what they’ve said.
What is my end goal?
I’m not sure where I’m heading exactly, however the habits that I’m forming contribute to my feelings of wellbeing and value which in my books is a good thing. I have placed a good amount of focus on habits that promote connection which also supports my values and provides positive feelings of wellbeing.
I have placed a lot of emphasis on going slowly and steadily with whatever habits I incorporate so that they are sustainable and not just some whim or passing trend.
Have you incorporated any new habits that support your wellbeing or mental health? If so please share in the comments or drop me a note by hitting the Connect With Me button - I’d love to hear what you’re doing and how it is helping you.
The constant repetitive pattern of a fern.
I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.
