Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Seasonal Changes
The last week I’ve started to feel the shift in the seasons again - that slow realization like the soft tick ticking of a clock that slowly worms its way into your consciousness. That’s how spring has felt to me - watching the sunrise coming earlier each day by 1 - 2 minutes and noticing the sun sink behind the mountains a little later each day too. Those minutes are stacking up and shifting our daily routine just slightly each day.
I’ve also noticed that the quality of the light is changing as the days get longer - the duration of the sunrise and the sunset seems to extend longer to bookend each day - like it can’t wait to get started and then is loathe to let go and fall into slumber.
The warmer temperatures are melting the residual mounds of white stuff and any new snow doesn’t seem to stick quite as long on the ground.
Surrender
I keep stumbling across the word surrender in various conversations, books and meditations and I really struggle with what this actually means to me. I feel that there is something important and of significance for me to learn which is why I keep digging in.
When I think of surrender - I think of giving in or allowing someone/something to overpower - it definitely feels like a power exchange or that I’m losing something. There is something disturbing about this that makes me feel lesser and uncomfortable. Ironically when I get out of my head and I do let go and “surrender” - especially for things outside of my control then I feel contentment, but it is usually short lived.
The word surrender is defined as yielding to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand - yikes that makes me really uncomfortable! However, when I consider this term from a more spiritual perspective, surrender isn't about giving up; it's defined as being about giving over.
Photographing exotic locations aka my backyard
The title of this post is a bit tongue in cheek, but I got to thinking about this as I was debating about planning a trip to some wonderful location for photography and while I think that there is nothing quite as exciting as capturing images in a new location - a trip just didn’t seem to be coming together. I either didn’t like the timing or the itinerary or something else just didn’t seem quite right.
Lately I’ve been going through my old photography catalogues and looking for images that I overlooked for one reason or another and it’s interesting to note that I have been finding all sorts of great images and a lot of them are from photoshoots close to home. This makes sense as the majority of my images are from locations close to where I live and it also makes sense that I should be seeing progress over time and this would be reflected in the locations I shoot frequently.
Circadian Rhythms
Lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping - well not so much trouble getting to sleep, but trouble staying asleep. As a retired person you’d think I have no worries and sleep should come easily and be totally restful, however I’ve found that it is anything but that.
Small stresses that would have normally not phased me at all (probably because I had so many much larger stresses to deal with) pre-retirement, now end up dominating my thoughts as I try to get a full night’s rest.
To make matters even more complicated, I live in a country and a latitude where there is a great deal of variation in the amount of daylight we get between summer and winter. Summer at its peak means sunrise at 5:20am and sunset at 9:54 pm - in contrast winter means sunrise as late as 8:57am and sunset as early as 4:30 pm. These swings in the amount of and timing of daylight can significantly impact sleep duration and quality.
Revisiting old photography files
I find that when I do a photoshoot I tend to process the images within a few days - sometimes even right away, but I’ve found that recently I’ve moved away from doing this in order to gain some perspective (ok full confession - I was forced to do this recently when I forgot my card reader when travelling and so I couldn’t download images until I got home).
I’m thinking that this is a good thing to do though because if I have an exciting shoot and either capture some bird or wildlife or scene that I didn’t expect or the light or conditions were amazing - I can be too emotionally tied to the images and not able to really assess them effectively.
Changes I’ve Seen Since Starting to Track Macros
I started tracking macros almost a year ago and while I began doing this to try and get a better understanding of how I was eating and distributing calories (Protein, Carbs and Fats), it quickly morphed into something a lot more impactful (blog post on Macros). I started progressive overload strength training early in the New Year which really paired well with the changes I made to my eating habits (i.e., increasing protein intake) and by July I had seen a 3% increase in muscle mass which is a significant increase especially at my age. (strength training blog post).
Now that it’s been almost 12 months since I started, I thought that it might be interesting and useful for me to reflect back on this past
Pieces of me
This one is very personal and nerve wracking as I feel very exposed and vulnerable sharing these thoughts, but it has also been a really valuable writing exercise to work through some of these thoughts.
I have been a fan of making jigsaw puzzles for a long time - growing up I was so fascinated by the way pieces fit together that I would make the same puzzle over and over again. Adding constraints to make it more difficult - like no putting together straight edge border pieces until the centre has been completed, starting with the toughest part first and then when all of those constraints are no longer challenging there is the turn it over and make the puzzle without looking at the picture version. Everything had a place and when you chose the right pieces they fit together so well. I enjoyed figuring out how to make it all come together.
Brain Rot
I started this blog post near the end of last year, but it got put aside as other topics piqued my interest more at the time. However, after a very stimulating conversation I found myself opening up this draft and finding it tickling my brain - a sure sign that I need to spend some time with this and mature it more.
It appears that each year the major dictionary sources identify the word of the year and in 2024 Oxford dictionary chose “brain rot”.
This is especially noted as being in relation to the low quality of online content that we consume every day. I can see this - I mean when one thinks about the amount of information that is made readily available to us on a daily basis from so many sources - wow! I spend time purposely limiting the amount and source of the content that I consume and it’s not always easy.
Cabin Fever
We’ve had a really unusual winter this year with it being unseasonably warm and not a lot of snow. I have to be honest and admit that I do like the snow - not so much for driving, but definitely for walking, skiing and photography. However, usually about this time of year I’m getting tired of the snow and the cold - we usually have a long stretch of frigid temperatures where it just hurts to go out in it, so we tend to hibernate a bit during this time as the dreaded cabin fever sets in.
I have to admit that by this time I’m looking forward to wearing fewer layers and getting outside for evening barbecues and gardening well into the late hours of the day. I think that Calgarians (as most people) are fond of complaining about the weather that we are currently experiencing rather than enjoying the fact that we do get four seasons (sometimes all in one day!).
Curiosity
A recent visit from Kory’s mum, Anne was a great opportunity for us to connect in person and also to share new experiences as well as favourite traditions. I have to admit that growing up I never heard of the Bonanza - A Ponderosa Christmas Special (trust me this is old with Lorne Greene and Michael Langdon - search YouTube if you’re curious to know more), but it was a tradition in Kory’s family and so we listen to it each year which is fun.
This year we introduced Anne to a new tradition - Ted Lasso. I may have mentioned that I have a bit of an obsession with this series - I really appreciate the subtle leadership nuances and team building as well as gratitude and just feel good moments (ok and Roy Kent’s fruity language). I think that Anne is hooked now too as we watched several episodes most evenings.
Wordplay
I have always loved language and words - one of my earliest memories was sitting on my dad’s knee at the breakfast table picking out words in the newspaper as my mum cooked breakfast. She was always playing words games with us when we went for walks - memory games where we’d have to remember long chains of words or come up with definitions. This fed my innate love of words.
Confession time - my love of words, reading and learning new things led me to read the Encyclopedia - does anyone remember those huge volumes of information? They were the first place we went to when researching term papers for school. I used to particularly enjoy learning the meanings of new words or rather where they came from. It is still something that tickles my grey matter.
Persistence Pays Off
I was lucky enough to have a second shot at photographing snowy owls this year after doing a return road trip with Kory’s mum, Anne. She’s such a great co-pilot and the eight hour drive goes by so quickly with our entertaining chats. One of the perks of coming to see her is the ability to do snowy owl photoshoots at this time of year.
When I tried before Christmas I wasn’t very successful due to weather issues (snowy owl blog post), but I did get to see a lot of amazing wildlife and landscape scenes. It was not a disappointment at all as I’ve come to learn to manage expectations and not count on things like birds, weather or even my abilities coming through when and how I want them to. I try to enjoy the time that I spend looking for these amazing owls and if I get any images that excite me then I’m happy.
Comparison vs Inspiration
The idea for this post came from a conversation I had with a friend who often says I am an inspiration to her. She sees me getting into so many things and diving deep to the point of obsession (my words) and she often makes comments about being unsure of whether to be inspired and encouraged to try something new or feel like she needs a kick in the backside to do better.
I can certainly relate to this feeling having grown up with a superwoman mother - I think I’ve mentioned that she went to university after having four children and went on to get a Bachelor’s of Education degree and a Master’s in Education at night school while working full time as a teacher
Growing Mushrooms
I have been an aspiring gardener for some time now, however the results have not always reflected the effort. I think that when you live in a location where the growing season is very short and unpredictable it can either frustrate you into giving up, or make you dig in your heels and try your hand at anything (I’ll leave you to guess which category I fall into).
For example, when I lived in Southwestern Ontario (the banana belt of Canada) it was easy to grow things - I grew trees from maple leaf tree keys, I split plants on a regular basis and exchanged varieties with other gardeners and I even inadvertently led to the expansion
Reflections and gratitude
It has been a long standing practice of mine to spend a bit of time at the end of every year reflecting back on everything that has come to pass and the things that haven’t been realized. I wouldn’t say that I set resolutions or goals for the upcoming year, but I do spend time thinking about what I’d like to do more or less of as well where I see myself by the end of the year. I like having ideas of where and what I want to achieve as this helps to provide a guide post for my year.
I find that by setting these intentions it is surprising how many are realized by the end of the year when I do my reflection. It is like these ideas guide my subconscious and help me stay on track.
Recent trip to Saskatchewan
There are two things that happened serendipitously within the month of December and I am so grateful for having these experiences. My mother in law and I did a road trip together as I traveled to pick her up with the idea that I’d also get an opportunity to photograph snowy owls as I’ve done in the past (snowy owl blog post and gallery).
I also had an opportunity to meet David DuChemin during his recent talk in Calgary. He is a dynamic speaker and really hit home with some good photographic truths accompanied by some amazing images (new book - Light, Space & Time) and he summarizes some key points in his recent newsletter.
Mood Photography
Photographers often ponder questions like what type of photographer they are, what genres do they shoot, or what is their style and while these are logical and interesting questions, they are not ones that I’ve spent a lot of time agonizing over. I have rather let my preferences lead the way and over time I have found the types of images that I enjoy making as well as the feel or emotion that an image conveys during the editing process. I find that this gives me a lot more flexibility rather than pigeonholing me into only taking certain types and styles of photos. In addition, as I’ve learned more and tools have changed - there has been an evolution to the way my images look.
Stresslaxing
As humans we’re an interesting bunch - ok we can be down right bizarre! I came across this term stresslaxing and I was curious enough to find out what it was all about, so I spent some time diving down the rabbit hole of researching into it - this is one of the many things that I love about retirement - having the time and space to explore and research and just learn new things. My research brought me to this new phenomenon which has emerged where the actual act of relaxation itself induces stress. This rather paradoxical experience is known as stresslaxing and it’s a term that tries to capture the anxiety sparked in some people, who when they are stressed, attempt to relax, but find themselves incapable of doing so.
Coaching
I come from a long line of very proud, reserved, stiff upper lip never show your emotions or weakness people. I was taught that the way to work through things is to ignore, power through or just pretend it never happened. I don’t suspect that I am alone in being taught these coping skills - it seems to me that it was a prevalent approach during the time that I grew up, however I also recognize that cultural attitudes and approaches have been changing throughout my life - in a very positive way - thank goodness!
Being vulnerable is no longer seen as being weak - seeking help and support is a sure sign of strength and a desire to grow - talking about things is the best way to knock shame on the head
Freeman Patterson Photography Retreat - 3 Months On
It’s been just over 3 months since I was in New Brunswick at St Andrews by the Sea for a photography retreat hosted by Freeman Patterson. There are times when an event or book or movie is very impactful and for me this is one of them - I find myself thinking back to that time quite frequently and recalling some very significant moments.
The other participants also had a profound impact on me and I have stayed in touch with three of the five group members (a bit surprising that I have stayed in touch with so many) - several of us have even talked about meeting up for another photography event.