Transitions, Transformations and a Little Photography
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Surrender
I keep stumbling across the word surrender in various conversations, books and meditations and I really struggle with what this actually means to me. I feel that there is something important and of significance for me to learn which is why I keep digging in.
When I think of surrender - I think of giving in or allowing someone/something to overpower - it definitely feels like a power exchange or that I’m losing something. There is something disturbing about this that makes me feel lesser and uncomfortable. Ironically when I get out of my head and I do let go and “surrender” - especially for things outside of my control then I feel contentment, but it is usually short lived.
The word surrender is defined as yielding to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand - yikes that makes me really uncomfortable! However, when I consider this term from a more spiritual perspective, surrender isn't about giving up; it's defined as being about giving over.
Photographing exotic locations aka my backyard
The title of this post is a bit tongue in cheek, but I got to thinking about this as I was debating about planning a trip to some wonderful location for photography and while I think that there is nothing quite as exciting as capturing images in a new location - a trip just didn’t seem to be coming together. I either didn’t like the timing or the itinerary or something else just didn’t seem quite right.
Lately I’ve been going through my old photography catalogues and looking for images that I overlooked for one reason or another and it’s interesting to note that I have been finding all sorts of great images and a lot of them are from photoshoots close to home. This makes sense as the majority of my images are from locations close to where I live and it also makes sense that I should be seeing progress over time and this would be reflected in the locations I shoot frequently.
Pieces of me
This one is very personal and nerve wracking as I feel very exposed and vulnerable sharing these thoughts, but it has also been a really valuable writing exercise to work through some of these thoughts.
I have been a fan of making jigsaw puzzles for a long time - growing up I was so fascinated by the way pieces fit together that I would make the same puzzle over and over again. Adding constraints to make it more difficult - like no putting together straight edge border pieces until the centre has been completed, starting with the toughest part first and then when all of those constraints are no longer challenging there is the turn it over and make the puzzle without looking at the picture version. Everything had a place and when you chose the right pieces they fit together so well. I enjoyed figuring out how to make it all come together.
Wordplay
I have always loved language and words - one of my earliest memories was sitting on my dad’s knee at the breakfast table picking out words in the newspaper as my mum cooked breakfast. She was always playing words games with us when we went for walks - memory games where we’d have to remember long chains of words or come up with definitions. This fed my innate love of words.
Confession time - my love of words, reading and learning new things led me to read the Encyclopedia - does anyone remember those huge volumes of information? They were the first place we went to when researching term papers for school. I used to particularly enjoy learning the meanings of new words or rather where they came from. It is still something that tickles my grey matter.
Stresslaxing
As humans we’re an interesting bunch - ok we can be down right bizarre! I came across this term stresslaxing and I was curious enough to find out what it was all about, so I spent some time diving down the rabbit hole of researching into it - this is one of the many things that I love about retirement - having the time and space to explore and research and just learn new things. My research brought me to this new phenomenon which has emerged where the actual act of relaxation itself induces stress. This rather paradoxical experience is known as stresslaxing and it’s a term that tries to capture the anxiety sparked in some people, who when they are stressed, attempt to relax, but find themselves incapable of doing so.
Coaching
I come from a long line of very proud, reserved, stiff upper lip never show your emotions or weakness people. I was taught that the way to work through things is to ignore, power through or just pretend it never happened. I don’t suspect that I am alone in being taught these coping skills - it seems to me that it was a prevalent approach during the time that I grew up, however I also recognize that cultural attitudes and approaches have been changing throughout my life - in a very positive way - thank goodness!
Being vulnerable is no longer seen as being weak - seeking help and support is a sure sign of strength and a desire to grow - talking about things is the best way to knock shame on the head
Freeman Patterson Photography Retreat - 3 Months On
It’s been just over 3 months since I was in New Brunswick at St Andrews by the Sea for a photography retreat hosted by Freeman Patterson. There are times when an event or book or movie is very impactful and for me this is one of them - I find myself thinking back to that time quite frequently and recalling some very significant moments.
The other participants also had a profound impact on me and I have stayed in touch with three of the five group members (a bit surprising that I have stayed in touch with so many) - several of us have even talked about meeting up for another photography event.
Everybody’s got a story
This song has always resonated with me because I feel that we (let’sy be honest - I) often make assumptions of people based upon first impressions.
I make judgements based upon the way people look or act or talk - I know it’s cliche, however the saying don’t judge a book by its cover still rings true today.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a strong introvertand people often interpret my demeanour as standoffish or cool, but it’s actually shyness mixed in with a preference of getting to know people slowly before diving in and interacting.
Seasonal Transitions
This transitional time is my favourite time of the year - while I love to watch the world wake up from the frosty cold of winter, I often find that changes happen too quickly in the springtime - the temperatures and precipitation can yo-yo and leave me feeling caught up in a whirlwind of changes. The summer has its warmth and lazy hazy days, however I find it almost too vibrant - too green. When the days start to shorten and the leftover heat of the day cools down, the air takes on a bit of crispness and the leaves on the trees start to take on their autumnal colours - this is my time of year - this is when I feel grateful to be able to spend time outside and soak up the lingering warmth of the season.
Being outside my routine
I have written quite a bit about the changes that I’ve made around healthier eating, strength training and wellness in an attempt to lead a more mindful life and improve my wellbeing. It has taken me a few years to identify the habits that I wanted to introduce and those that I wanted to part ways with - Atomic Habits (James Clear) is an excellent resource and I wrote about it here.
It took a lot of consistency and small changes to build up the good habits that I wanted to introduce, such as strength training, yoga, meditation and photography walks to name a few. Then last April everything changed when we bought a new home.
The shifts in what is important
This recent move to the “country” (see this blog post) really highlighted for me that I have made some significant shifts in what is important (as has Kory). We identified the values that are important to us when we started seriously searching for a new home. Nature, a less busy location, space and places to walk were the things that we identified as being important.
Our previous home was located within walking distance of downtown Calgary in a lovely neighbourhood that was close to coffee shops and grocery stores. There was a vibe of busy urban
Expanding Creativity - Inspiration
This is a question that I have wrestled with for some time. I can recall being very creative and artistic when I was growing up. My mother (a fine arts major and fine artist) fostered an environment of self expression and creativity when I was growing up. I learned to knit, crochet, embroider and other needlework crafts as well as creative writing, painting and a rather unfortunate phase of play dough sculpture (no one mentioned to me at 7 years old
Taking time to breathe and enjoy life
I cannot believe what a whirlwind the last 6 months have been - from travelling to Iceland for a photographic tour, buying and selling a house, packing up and moving to the country and then setting up a new house.
Add on two more trips - a photographic retreat in July and a kayaking trip in August and it equals overload!
Everything was planned a year in advance with the exception of the house move - what a crazy ride it’s been!
Follow up on photography retreat
Well I’ve been back from my photography retreat in New Brunswick for a few weeks now and I’ve finally gotten around to writing about how it went. Meeting up with someone you know primarily from an online space can sometimes be challenging, especially if either or both of you are presenting a “perfect” image of yourself, however I was pretty sure that Heather and I would get along well and not have that awkwardness associated with figuring out what is real and virtual about another person - we’re both rather down to earth and direct people which is refreshing to encounter.
Wildlife and birds in Iceland
It has taken me a while to finally get through all of my Iceland images, but I didn’t want to rush through them and there have been a few distractions since then (moving blog). It’s hard to believe that I went to Iceland back in April and that almost 3 months have passed since I returned.
I have been posting blogs about different aspects of my trip (Iceland macros, Iceland trip review, Iceland abstractions) and I have finally decided to write about the wildlife and birds that I saw and photographed. This is my passion and I couldn’t resist spending time capturing the rich diversity of wildlife that I don’t usually see in Canada.
Consistency and habit forming.
I’ve talked a bit in earlier posts about how the brain loves predictability and in fact our brain rewards us with dopamine hits when we can correctly predict things. However predictability is not always the best thing for us as it can stifle creativity and growth. A bit of surprise occasionally can do wonders for sparking different centres in our brains. There is a lot to be said for balance - a good routine and consistency with some unpredictability thrown in to shake things up and keep us on our toes.
Abstract Photography in Iceland
One of my goals when I went to Iceland was to get out of my comfort zone and experiment with different types of creative photography. Even signing up for a primarily landscape based photography trip was a stretch for me as I do not consider myself proficient in landscape photography. I do however find that practicing this genre is beneficial for my bird photography as I become more conscious of composition and therefore create more interesting backgrounds in my bird images.
Contemplations
I have recently finished listening to an audible book called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby who experienced a life changing stroke and ended up with a condition called “locked in syndrome”. This means that he remained mentally astute, but had no verbal capabilities or movement save being able to blink his left eyelid and minor head movement. The book was dictated by Bauby over a two month period by blinking his left eye and using a special alphabet template to enable him to communicate.
Photography Retreat Trip prep
This feels like a very full year and although some of it was planned there has been some unexpected aspects (like moving house) and before these unplanned events I had several trips in the calendar including a photography retreat to New Brunswick.
I have been part of a really supportive online photography community A Year With My Camera which I highly recommend for new and experienced photographers. One of the many things that I appreciate about being part of this community is the fellow photographers I have gotten to know
Macros tracking in Iceland
I have been struggling to lose some weight for quite a while now - it seems like once I hit 60 that my metabolism decided it was going to do its own thing no matter what I did. I talked about it a bit in this blog post (The Stories We Tell Ourselves).
It’s been frustrating as exercise and cutting out certain things hasn’t made a bit of difference. I’ve also noticed that my energy level has been low and I haven’t seemed to be as keen to be active as I usually am.