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I'm heading to Eastern Canada for a photography retreat.

I should preface this post with the statement that there was a period of time where my trip was uncertain due to airline strike threats, however thankfully that has been lifted and my trip is full steam ahead.

This feels like a very full year and although some of it was planned there has been some unexpected aspects (like moving house) and before these unplanned events I had several trips in the calendar including a photography retreat to New Brunswick.

I have been part of a really supportive online photography community A Year With My Camera which I highly recommend for new and experienced photographers. One of the many things that I appreciate about being part of this community is the fellow photographers I have gotten to know - their talent and creativity inspires me, I love to be able to see their development and they also provide candid and helpful feedback on my work.

I have had the pleasure of getting to know one such photographer from Eastern Canada (Heather) and her photography is so very different from mine - she focuses on urban and abstract genres - but in fact that is a disservice to her as she photographs so many more types of subjects.

Earlier this year she had her first gallery showing and I was able to join virtually for her artist talk. It was a great experience and being able to see her putting her work out in the public eye was very inspiring and humbling - there is a lot of work involved in printing images for a public showing. I’m very proud of her!

Part of her development and education has been through workshops with Freeman Patterson who is a renowned Canadian photographer focusing on natural subject photography (including but not limited to macro, landscape and nature) and utilizing all sorts of creative approaches to his photography.

When she invited me to join her on a Freeman Patterson photography retreat in New Brunswick this summer - I jumped at the opportunity.

To spend focused photography time with such a kindred spirit and just getting to spend time in person instead of over text, email, and zoom will be wonderful not to mention the draw of spending time in the company of such renowned creatives.

What is an Artists’ Retreat?

Freeman Patterson has done a series of week long workshops for many years and in addition to the more structured workshops, he also runs artists’ retreats which is what I will be attending.

His website describes this retreat as follows:

“This is an artists’ residency, a time and opportunity for creative self-exploration. The focus is on art (the imaginings, dreams, and passions that motivate us to create) rather than on craft (the tools and techniques of photography or another visual medium.)” - Freeman Patterson website

I really like the sound of this and it aligns well with where I have been going with my photography and mindfulness explorations (link to mindfulness blog). I have felt a definite shift from focusing on technical aspects of photography to connecting with the way I feel inside and the vision and stories I am trying to express photographically (link to creative photography blog).

From a logistical perspective this retreat covers field time for photographic exploration, lectures/talks, reviews of images we’ve been asked to bring (images that are meaningful to us) and exploring and reflecting on where we are with our photography.

Putting together a portfolio of images….

One of the preparatory requests is that we come with a series of 15 - 20 images that have significant meaning for us to be shared with the group for feedback. Somehow this really makes me nervous as I’m not sure what to expect.

I have to admit to a bit of trepidation to putting together a series of 20 images that are meaningful to me - not that I lack those sorts of images in my portfolio, but that I am a bit nervous about sharing them with strangers.

When I stop to think about this more deeply it is about my lack of confidence in my work - a feeling that as I am self taught that I am not as “artistic” or that my work is not as “relevant”. When I write that out I can see how untrue that is - how silly to consider artistic qualities or relevance coming from how you’re trained.

I suspect a lot of my hesitation also comes from the recent explorations/experimentations I have been doing with my photography - and that this is coming from a very personal place where I’m attempting to express how I’m feeling in the moment. This feels quite revealing and for an introvert - quite scary.

I have been spending time reflecting these thoughts and feelings and understanding that part of my fear comes from moving outside of my comfort zone which feels very uncomfortable. However, I’m content to sit here with these difficult feelings and ride the wave until I am more comfortable being out here - in this vulnerable space (picture me a little white knuckled as I navigate this messy for me action).

I have committed to not worrying about whether others like or dislike my work - think it is interesting or creative - I am committed to being curious and open to feedback as I want to learn and grow, however I also know that I don’t have to agree or take on the feedback if it doesn’t resonate. The lure is that there may be a gem in there that I would miss if I didn’t take this risk. We’ll have to see where this takes me during the retreat.

What will I take with me?

I have read some interviews with Freeman Patterson and he is definitely not someone who suffers from GAS (gear acquisition syndrome) - in fact he seems to be the exact opposite which is refreshing. I have given some thought to the photography equipment that I will take with me and I have decided to exercise some constraints to help me focus on the creative nature of this trip.

I plan to take my Lensbaby Velvet85mm lens which is a manual focus lens that forces me to slow down considerably. I’ll also take my 24 - 120mm lens as this has become my go to lens for photography walks. As with Iceland I will take my Case ND filters as they were excellent for slow shutter speed work and I’ll take a black glove to enable me to practice my “Malm ICM”. Apart from that I will likely take my 100-400mm for when Heather and I do some nature walks and kayaking. All of this should fit in a small backpack and I will also be taking a tripod for some slow shutter speed work.

Travelling with minimal gear makes for an easier trip through airports and it also means I spend more time photographing and less time trying to decide what gear to use - constraints are very good for photographers.

The chaos of the summer

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post - I had planned this retreat long before we jumped into a big relocation/house move. At first I was concerned about the timing and feeling a bit guilty about heading away when we will surely still be in the middle of setting up the new home.

I have come to a recognition that life often happens when we least expect it and it is our ability to be resilient and flexible to meet the changes that come about with curiosity and grace that matters most. I have chosen to feel gratitude for the timing of this retreat as it will likely be a good time for a break from the work of setting up a new home. It will also afford Kory time to experience the new home solo and have time to immerse himself in his music creations - or at least to continue to set up his work space.

I would hate to miss out on this opportunity to spend time with Heather and explore our mutual love of photography, so I’m letting go of self judgment on the timing of this trip.

In the meantime…

I am enjoying all of the changes that are happening right now - embracing the chaos and challenges - this seems to be a better way to approach this period in our lives. The alternative seems quite limiting and stressful.

Have you ever indulged in something scary but positive or was your timing less than ideal? If so how did you manage those feelings of trepidation or concern - I’d love to hear of any ways you’ve used successfully to managed through stressful or very busy times.

I hope you’ll come back soon, share a cuppa, relax and enjoy more of my musings.